We are really running out time now, summer continues to dwindle and as we get closer to the inescapable day of results I feel a sudden and rapid acceleration in the time, I do not want results day to come, I really am fearing the grades I will have achieved, out of all my friends I think I am in the most precarious of positions because they are all super intelligent high A* achievers and well I am not that. Also there are all pretty much guaranteed on there chosen courses because 1) You generally only need a C where as there all aiming for A's. 2) They have got 5 years of teacher, student relationships behind them so the teachers know them and want them on the courses and finally. 3) The school has a group of students that no matter what they achieve they want them at there 6form and not one of the schools competitors, they call it the Fairy tale group. The school knows that even if they screwed there GCSE's up they can get good results out of them at AS and A-level so they will do what ever they can to get them. These students are normally set 1, self motivating, assets to the school and all my friends certainly fit that criteria.
Me on other hand am in a slightly more precarious position because I am not like my friends. I have a hatred for homework, I can not just grasp work and ideas the way they do and because I am not bothered what the teachers think of me I have never been particular self motivated to work off my own back. Trying to revise was hard enough. While they fight hammer and tongs for the top marks in the school I am toiling with C and B, and although they are undeniably good grades by most standards I know that 6from is not right for me, I do not posses that inherent ability to self study, sit in classrooms and get talked at or revise for exams the way my friends can so I have had to look for alternative. And that in lies the problem.
I looked around the other schools and collages and it became apparent that there really was only one course for me. Which in some ways is a good thing because I didn't have to decide or feel like I was compromising. A level 3 B-tech in motorsport engineering, this seemed like a incredible opportunity, a well rounded all encompassing course which lead me straight in to the University course I would want and the career I had always dreamt of. I would be designing, fabrication, machining, building and competing my own race cars and gaining a highly respected qualification all at the same time. So the only thing I would have to do is get a B in maths, oh dear. I have tried as hard as I can to get the grade I need but would I achieve it? I was all ready a border line B student but now I have to get it and there is no alternative. I don't have 5 year relationships with teachers or fairy tale groups to fall back on so that is why I am so scared, if I don't get that grade what am I going to do?
I am very resentful to my friends for there brilliant work ethics. I hold them all in the highest respect for there ability to work hard and achieve high. I wish I could be in the same position as them sitting pretty on almost guaranteed grades, it would take a brave or very stupid person to bet against them that is for sure. So I am just going to have to pray to a god I don't believe in and does not exists that I get the grades I need and that the equally fictitious god of exams is smiling on me and takes pity.
One good thing is that I am going to make some money either way out of it, some of my friends have turned this offer down from there parents for some wired moral reason but as I am not one for turning down easy money and the way I see it I have worked for long enough to earn this. I am getting money for my grades. If I get a A* in German I get £250 although that is a special exception, for everything else I get £100 for an A*, £50 for an A, £25 for a B and £15 for a C. So if my get all my predicted grades I will get a lump sum of drum role please... £170. And yes I am thinking the same as you. Shopping!
So I think the last thing to say is good luck to all my friends, competitors and enemies! I hope we all get what we set out to achieve and perhaps more then we ever thought possible. Who knows, personally the whole world is out there and I don't no about you but I intend to make an impression, leave a legacy and be remembered.
Love the Animosity Kid x
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